Defining Addiction
May defines addiction as “a state of compulsion, obsession, or preoccupation that enslaves a person’s will and desire” (p.14). It is the experience of “always wanting or a perception of needing more of the addictive behavior or object of attachment in order to feel satisfied” (p.26).
He discusses at length self-deception, loss of willpower, habit-formation, developing a tolerance for addiction, withdrawal symptoms, denial and repression, and the difference between attraction addictions (things we are compulsively drawn toward) and aversion addictions (that which we compulsively avoid).
We can think of our inadequacies as terrible defects, if we want, and hate ourselves.But we can also think of them affirmatively, as doorways through which the power of grace can enter our lives. Then we may begin to appreciate our inherent, God-given lovableness.
And to really trust God, we must begin to relax our grip and ease our concern about all the lesser sources of security to which we have become attached. This can feel risky indeed
In our culture, the 3 gods we do trust for security are possessions, power and human relationships. To a certain extent, all of us worship this false trinity.
God wants to provide our ultimate security but we seek our safety in power and possessions mad then find we must continually worry about them.
Psychoanalytic perspective- we displace our longing for God upon other things
Behavioral perspective- We are conditioned to seek objects by the positive and negative reinforcement of our own experiences and messages of others and society. High values give to willful self determination and mastery.
Spiritual perspective- Seek the least threatening ways of trying to satisfy our longing for Go, ways that protect our sense of personal power and require the least sacrifice. Even when we know that our hunger is for God alone, we will still be looking for loopholes- ways of having our cake and eating it too, ways of maintaining our attachment to things and people while simultaneously trying to deepen our intimacy with God. We seek compromise not because we are evil and conniving but because of the way we are made, we naturally look for the least painful ways of living.
True love then is not only born of freedom it is also born of difficult choice. A mature and meaningful love must say something like `I have experienced other goodness and they are beautiful but it is You my true heart's desire whom I choose above all." We have to turn away before we can come home with dignity. Homecoming
For many of us freedom of choice means that our longing for the true God remains submerged within us for months years ad even decades at a time, while our conscious energies seek satisfaction elsewhere. The true longing will resurface periodically giving us small gracious and discomforting nudges as if saying,"You knew this is not really what you want." But the momentum of attachment usually carries is on with a power of its own. Often it is not until this momentum brings us to some point of existential despair some rock bottom some impasses that we become capable of beginning to reclaim our true desire. Addiction and Grace. Love and Spirituality in the healing of Addictions by Gerald G May M.D. (HarperCollins 1991) p 94-95
GRACE The measure of faith is the degree to which oneis willing to risk the truth of grace.
We can form images of faith that can be an object of attachment , become engage in supervision.
Faith is empowered by grace and built on trust
GRACE-FULL CHOICES
True faith choices are made in the heart.
It comes from a mysterious coinherence of grace and will.This may be closer to the truth but it is just as far away from any possibility of justification.
We all experience hear level choices from time to time. It is in the realm of our most severe addictions, however, that we experience theme most clearly and profoundly. We have all had the experience of struggling to break a habit, failing repeatedly, and then at some point meeting with success. What was those success and how did it happen? We can say it is willpower but what suddenly empowered our will? We can say it was finding the right strategy, but what enabled that discovery? Did we do i on our own or did grace break through and deliver us or was it some mysterious cooperation of will and grace that we could never have engineered. our usual pops and handholds are absent, and we are therefore very vulnerable. In this vulnerability we are also dependent upon and open to grace at any other time.
The desert is where the battle with attachment takes place. It is much more than a journey; it is the discovery of the depths of weakness, the power of grace, and the price of both. Moreover, what takes place in the desert is not simply difficult travel and adventurous learning; it is repentance and conversion, the transformation of mixed motivations into purified desire, the greening of desert into garden through the living water of grace (p133-134)
The desert is characterized by a soul suffering from withdrawal symptoms, a mind and body deprived of false securities and therefore left to explore the mystical terrain of personal willpower and divine grace.
Addiction cannot be defeated by the human will acting on its own not by the human will opting out and turning everything over to divine will. Instead the power of grace flows most fully when human will chooses to act in harmony with divine will. In practical terms, this means
staying in a situation
being willing to confront it as it is
remaining responsible for the choices one males in response to it
at the same time turning to God's grace protection and guidance .
Responsible human freedom thus becomes authentic spiritual surrender. (p139)
Why cannot willpower - the addicted symptoms of the human brain are too numerous and overwhelming
not an intellectual attempt to align the will with grace coz grace is too trANscendent for comprehension by the intellect.
It must happen at the heart level through authentic coices of faith empowered by God.
One of the unique ideas I’ve found in this book and not in others is the emphasis that letting go of our addictions will always lead one into a desert. He states quite blatantly, “Any struggle to reform addictive behavior will surely lead us into a desert” (p. 147). This is because deciding to “quit” destructive behavior involves willingly depriving oneself of that which life and day-to-day existence has depended. One’s feeling of security and well-being is overturned—leaving the person in deeply unknown and frightening territory.
May also spends two chapters discussing the impact of addictions on the mind and the body. He explains the mind-games an addict plays—with himself and others. He has a very good section on the topic of how addicts become expert “hiders.” He says, “The addicted person puts on masks of competence, lightheartedness, and good humor. These charades can be very effective at fooling others, but internally they only intensify feelings of inadequacy.”
One of the areas I appreciated was the section on “The Addictive Personality.” He addresses the popular notion that addictions occur because of pre-existing personality defects, something much accepted in psychological circles. Breaking with these theories, May believes that there is little evidence to support this. He concludes, “the symptoms of addictive personality were caused by the addiction, not the cause of it” (p.55). From May’s standpoint, the problem lies in the fact that “It is an addicted personality instead of an addictive personality.” In an intriguing section he addresses the neurological and physiological nature of addiction which demonstrates the inadequate demand that the addict simply “stop it.”
The author has some deep theological convictions. But be warned—this is not a typical “Christian” book. By that I mean that you won’t find an overabundance of scripture verses or proof-texts, although there are some. What you will find are more major biblical themes of idolatry and dependence on other “gods” (the objects of our addictions). In fact, for May, addiction makes a person depend on and trust in something else, other than God, for ultimate security and sense of well being (p. 31).
His continued reference to and discussion of grace makes this a work which provides hope to the hopeless. May says, “God’s grace is our only hope for dealing with addiction, the only power that can truly vanquish its destructiveness” (p.16). He also realizes how our addictions sabotage grace from being operative. “However dependent we are on God’s grace and mercy for liberation from our addictions, the very nature of those addictions impair our receptivity to grace” (p.18). For May, an understanding and incorporation of God’s grace, through the gospel, is what makes change a possibility.
Addressing the role of community is something I find missing from most discourses about people who are addicts. Thankfully, May, puts much emphasis on the role of community—and how our addictions impact community. Addictions both inhibit community (our availability to God and others) and yet require community (p.143). May assumes the importance of community. For him, our journey away from addictions can never be a private thing between ourselves and God. God’s grace is something mediated through others on our behalf. He says that grace “pours forth” among people through community. This very biblical concept is often missing from most discussions on addictions.
Addiction and Grace exhaustively explores some crucial territory for anyone wanting to truly understand addiction. This book reflects the essence of what I have seen in my 20+ years of ministry experience. It resonates with what I have seen time and time again in the lives of those seeking freedom from their compulsions and addictions.
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