My dad had a near death experience 8 years ago where he saw himself drowning in water with creatures of hell beckoning him in. He woke up in ICU asking us not to cross the river- not once but wherever we went near him. Initially we thought nothing to it as the doctor said they would sometimes hallucinate after waking up from heavy sedition. However as the effect of medicine wore off, he did not stop but continue to unveil his experience in bits and pieces. In fact for the next 8 years he would release snippets and details of his encounter until I can piece them together and get the gist of what he had seen. I still do not know the actual scenario due to inattentive ---ness. I try my best to be as accurate as possible.
He was in the river and it was filled with creatures.`Not earthly ones but from another realm'. He saw my paternal uncle- the one who had committed suicide by jumping into the Singapore river some years back. He said that Uncle was beckoning him to go into the river. Some time later he revealed that there were officials at the far end discussing about him. One said his time was not yet. Another time, he said that he was already waist deep into the water. At that time, a ferocious looking snake was lunging towards him. I guess dad was terrified. However, just when it came near him, it couldn't reach him as there was an invisible glass wall blocking it. Dad described it as such- `It banged its head on the glass wall, came to me again and bang again ..and again.' In recent years, one time he revealed that 2 persons dressed in white pulled him out of the water and the next he knew, he regained consciousness. The story etched in my heart and I marveled at his encounter. We told him the men are angels. He said they look beautiful.
Just a few months before his passing, mum said that he started to hallucinate about snakes again.
Just a few months before his passing, mum said that he started to hallucinate about snakes again.
Looking back, I am sure God heard our cry and rescued him. We had prayed for God to rescue him during his ordeal at ICU then. Pastors came to pray and we pleaded for his life. Doctor told us that that night was crucial and if he didn't make it, he would be on the list where we had to prepare for the worst.
However over the next 8 years, he did not admit that Jesus is his saviour. He said that the 2 men were nurses. In fact he went back to his old ways. It pained our hearts to see him pouring his woes and dwelling in misery. Dad was a poet at heart. Like Libai李白， he yearned for the ideal world and was a die-hard idealist. Very talented and brilliant despite his humble and adverse background. On one hand, we tried our best to sooth his physical and emotional pain, on the other hand we felt helpless and defeated. We struggled between being direct in our outreach or take a back seat in order not to offend him. Sometimes I just screamed inside with anger `Can't you see how God love you and give you a second chance. Why can't you just accept him and come out of your bondage?' Other times, my heart ached and filled with pity and sadness for him.
Nonetheless, there is a inner sense that God is watching over him. Psalm 18 always is the anchor verse when I prayed. As years passed, my hope in my pre-conceived outcome dwindled and just waited in quiet `resignation?' for lack of a better word. Yet holding fast to my anchor verse. All else fail but your promise never fails right? Right.
He was in and out of hospital due to his many ailments- lung, foot, heart etc.... So much so that I secretly yearned that he ended up in hospital as he can break the cycle of bondage and allowed us to come in to love him and `knock some sense to him'. Asian families are very stoid and indirect in our display of affection and that includes spreading the gospel.
So when he was admitted to hospital yet again for the umpteenth time, I was not shaken or perturbed. I went about my usual business. Usually my question at the back of my mind is ` Now is the golden opportunity to push the gospel so hmmm...' However, this time round I was too lazy to plan anything. I went about my mechanical business of visiting and adding cheer to him. However I did share my concern to my brothers and sisters in cell. I did not even cancel my dinner appointment with a couple. The brother who has a gift of prophecy shared a verse: ` Today you will join me in paradise.',saying that Jesus will save even at the last minute.
However unlike the previous time where he would recover, his condition turned for the worse and he was transferred to ICU, he never regained consciousness after that. I regretted not telling him the gospel one last time. Even then God was gracious. Relentlessly verses and encouragement came and I was mobilized to enter into battle mode. No plan! just moved with the flow. I knew that we need to fight alongside- the objective is he must meet Jesus in the spirit. We sang chinese and hokkien songs sent by my dear sister Janice and others. We prayed and talked to him. Doctors told us they still can hear sometimes when sedated. So we talked to him and told him what we wanted to say. I had never been so focused in my life. Tho the doctors gave one bad news after another, my inner voice said ` Now is the time, get ready.' I ignored the words from the doctor. ` His heart and lungs are failing. There is 60% chance of saving him...then 40% then 20%. Be prepared. We are putting him in kidney dialysis...... We are turning him around to make the final effort....' Ok noted, thank you very much. No matter. I only geared to this:What is the signals and instructions from God? Pastor Ah Yam said 'Pray in the spirit because he can no longer hear.' I spoke in tongues. I relied on the faith of others and just do it. My cell members came and accompanied me. They held hands and prayed. Ailin shared that she went off filled with unspeakable joy, singing in tongues. Such is the energy and power. My paternal 3rd uncle and family witnessed all. Chinese pastor and I spread the gospel to my auntie and cousins. He also went in alone to talk to dad, when I went in, I saw tears in my dad's eyes. As each of his organs collapsed one by one, I was more determined to send him off. Right from the start I had a sense that God was preparing us to let him go. When the Spirit takes over we just do it. I led the group to say our goodbyes and `pushed' him to go to Jesus, telling him: There is nothing here to hold you. We are well and please go first to meet Jesus. We will join you later.' My brothers were asking Is he saved? Is he saved? I said I really don't know but I think he is.
However unlike the previous time where he would recover, his condition turned for the worse and he was transferred to ICU, he never regained consciousness after that. I regretted not telling him the gospel one last time. Even then God was gracious. Relentlessly verses and encouragement came and I was mobilized to enter into battle mode. No plan! just moved with the flow. I knew that we need to fight alongside- the objective is he must meet Jesus in the spirit. We sang chinese and hokkien songs sent by my dear sister Janice and others. We prayed and talked to him. Doctors told us they still can hear sometimes when sedated. So we talked to him and told him what we wanted to say. I had never been so focused in my life. Tho the doctors gave one bad news after another, my inner voice said ` Now is the time, get ready.' I ignored the words from the doctor. ` His heart and lungs are failing. There is 60% chance of saving him...then 40% then 20%. Be prepared. We are putting him in kidney dialysis...... We are turning him around to make the final effort....' Ok noted, thank you very much. No matter. I only geared to this:What is the signals and instructions from God? Pastor Ah Yam said 'Pray in the spirit because he can no longer hear.' I spoke in tongues. I relied on the faith of others and just do it. My cell members came and accompanied me. They held hands and prayed. Ailin shared that she went off filled with unspeakable joy, singing in tongues. Such is the energy and power. My paternal 3rd uncle and family witnessed all. Chinese pastor and I spread the gospel to my auntie and cousins. He also went in alone to talk to dad, when I went in, I saw tears in my dad's eyes. As each of his organs collapsed one by one, I was more determined to send him off. Right from the start I had a sense that God was preparing us to let him go. When the Spirit takes over we just do it. I led the group to say our goodbyes and `pushed' him to go to Jesus, telling him: There is nothing here to hold you. We are well and please go first to meet Jesus. We will join you later.' My brothers were asking Is he saved? Is he saved? I said I really don't know but I think he is.
But all the signs pointed to his salvation, these are the highlights
1) Pastor Page came to tell us that she saw my dad with Jesus. They were deep in conversation. Dad looked happy and full of joy.
2) I saw a youthful version of my dad waving goodbye to me.
3) My brother saw bright light behind my dad opening up
4) Doctor in duty came and prayed with us, telling dad ` Uncle it is time to go and all your kids and wife want you to go to Jesus. Rest in peace.'
5) Deaconess Laura mentioned that my dad looked peaceful at the wake despite the fact tt he was disfigured by the intrusion of tubes and tape around his mouth....plus the long ordeal at the ICU.
5) Deaconess Laura mentioned that my dad looked peaceful at the wake despite the fact tt he was disfigured by the intrusion of tubes and tape around his mouth....plus the long ordeal at the ICU.
His lung and heart were shutting down... Then his kidney failed and finally, his stomach collapsed. Internal bleeding set in and when there was a back flow of blood out of the tube from his mouth, we knew then we are in the final moment. The battle is won. Hallelujah praise the Lord!!
And so he passed away this year in March finally accepting Christ as his saviour. At the last hour we felt presence of Jesus taking him home. To me it is Psalm 18 personalized. Miracle indeed.
Because it was such a deep impression etched in my mind, I cannot help but want to draw it out. It took the annual Colour of the bible to propel me to turn impression to print. The process is easy unlike the last piece.
Surprising element= the sleeves
One sleeve is feminine with flowers and the other is masculine with fire and verse.
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